Question:

How Do I Deal With an Emotionally and Verbally Abusive Older Brother??? Please help.

by Guest4811 | 12 years, 7 month(s) ago

I am nearly 25 and my brother is 28. He is a self-identifying homosexual and the reason why that may be relevant to my question is that I wonder if his abusive actions are the result of his own sexual insecurities. He moved back at home a year and a half ago and every time I see his face, he says things like "you have a lose v****a", "you are re a dirty hooker", "you suck big hairy balls", "suck my balls", "dirty b***h". Every time he knows that there is a cute guy I like on tv or elsewhere, he says "he's g*y" or he is a woman beater or something to that extent. The only time he is nice to me and I start to see if he wants to be friends or not is when he wants the attention on him such as when he is starting up a "new and exciting" personal project or when he wants me to buy something off of him in the way of old electronics. He does this taunting so much and it is really making me emotional..he also grabs my butt when my mom isn't around. He never gets reprimanded and obviously I have to work this out with him. I always end up feeling drained at the end of the day and feeling so much anger that I don't want. What should I do? I love my brother but I don't know why he is hurting me...he knows I have been through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and we have all lost our father 3 years ago. Help!!! I need help!!!!

Tags: Abusive, brother, deal, emotionally, Help, Please, Verbally

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Guest3521

i have tried to answer your question at the following url
http://maybenow.com/How-do-I-deal-with-an-older-brother-who-is-emotionally-and-verbally-abusive-q19312288

as you posted the same question twice, let me know if you need further help; i think knowing a bit more about the background of the situation might be good so i can pinpoint the help area.
Report (0) (0) | 12 years, 7 month(s) ago
Guest4809

It is time to get as far away from your brother as you possibly can. he is abusive and will not stop until you calmly tell him you want nothing to do with him and will not have him in your life. Abusers, however, often deny they are abusive and tend to blame their victims. They also internalize any abuse they may have experienced and don't see their behavior as abnormal or problematic. You have to get away from the abuser and refuse to be alone with him. Whenever you are near him, if you have to be near him, you must say very clearly, "I refuse to allow you to abuse me. Please, stop abusing me. Your words and deeds are abusive." You must confront him in a calm, quiet way. Do not scream or yell. Also, be sure to tell someone you trust what is happening and try to around a friend whenever you are near him or around him, even if that means inviting trusted friends to holiday and other gatherings. He won't like being confronted in front of others, but it might give him pause and allow him to see how others outside the fmaily are perceiving him. I think, however, getting away from him is the best option, though. He's a brother, but that does not mean you are obligated to spend the rest of your life around someone who treats you the way he does.
Report (0) (0) | 12 years, 7 month(s) ago