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Some people spend much of their lives in unnecessary anguish over others' expectations of them. The following may be helpful if you find it difficult to stand up to intrusive or authoritarian parents or those who would like you to follow a particular career path or lifestyle of their choosing.Steps: 1. Get excited about the idea of living the life you choose rather than the life someone else wants for you. 2. Believe that you are capable of making good decisions on your own. 3. Write a personal intention statement describing the benefits of living on your terms--e.g., you will have joy, more energy, fun, a sense of purpose, and so on. 4. Reread the personal intention statement daily. 5. Find at least one support buddy-- someone with whom you trust to share your feelings. 6. Plan meetings with the support buddy in which you each "take a turn" discussing your intentions, hopes, and goals, as well as how you will deal with the obstacles that arise. 7. Read books to teach yourself how to have healthy boundaries and how to conduct yourself responsibly and non defensively when responding to manipulative people. Suggested books: *Difficult Conversations* and *When I Say No, I Feel Guilty*. 8. Practice. Role play with another person, standing up to the person whose judgment you fear most. 9. Use the phrases you have rehearsed-- but this time, in real life situations that you find challenging.
Tags: Live, own, terms
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