Question:

Saying Yes When You Really Want to Say No

by Guest9039  |  8 years, 4 month(s) ago

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Saying Yes When You Really Want to Say No - im asking this on behalf of all the people who want to create happy, healthy, and satisfying relationships. they say this can only happen if you spend time with someone or do something for them when you actually want to --when hanging out with them or doing what they've asked is the most wonderful thing you can imagine doing in that moment.

i don't agree with the idea that if you love someone, being "selfless" shows your love. This idea of being selfless--and the utter impossibility of it--is probably what's causing the majority of relationship problems.

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1 ANSWERS

  1. Merlyn
    A relationship is not just about what one person wants. We find that many people don't know how to use their own inner guidance to understand themselves and stay true to what's most important to them. Yet this is vital to learn; it's an essential component for creating enjoyable, fulfilling relationships.

    So why do you say yes when you mean no? Do you fear losing the relationship? The odd thing is that when you say yes when you really want to say no, one of two things normally happens next. Either you either do what you said you would do and end up feeling resentful--which the other person can almost always sense, and which then in turn harms the relationship. Or you find ways to get out of what you said you'd do, usually by lying, or making excuses--which can also harm the relationship.

    We suggest you start giving yourself permission to say no. This is the first key to happiness in your relationships. Be honest with yourself--never attempt to hang out with anyone unless it's the most wonderful thing you can imagine doing. Never do something for someone unless you identify why doing it is important to you.

    Sometimes spending time with or doing something for someone will be the most wonderful thing you can do, and at other times it won't be. We recommend that you start using your emotions as your inner guidance. They will tell you when you feel like spending time with people and when you don't. When you feel like contributing by doing something for someone else and when you don't.

    So the key to happiness in all your relationships is, Don't Say Yes When You Mean No.

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Latest activity: 10 years, 9 month(s) ago.
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