Why am I attracted to sadness?

1 ANSWERS

1. amomipais82
   

   Hi,
   "The majority of women are not attracted to a healthy man because they don't know what one is. This is why women are attracted to the 'bad boys'. If you are a rough construction worker who drives a truck and is slightly abusive women will love you. They will chase you down. In the last days the spirit of Jezebel arises in the world and the nature of womanhood is twisted through sexual control seeking to destroy clear male identity."
   
   The story of Amber is this: She is adopted and raised in the home of a Baptist minister. She went to a Christian school and at some point made the commitment to Christ and knows the truth. I pray for the little girl that is locked inside of her. I picked up her story when I met her at age 41 at a place I worked. She was in an abusive relationship with a violent alcoholic who abused her and sexually abused her ten year old daughter. She phoned me several times crying that she felt trapped and didn't know what to do. I advised her to get a restraining order and phone the police.
   
   She finally woke up and in a last desperate measure left everything and I mean everything, packed up a few belongings in her van and drove to another state in the dark of night and finally escaped. Shell shocked and still reeling from her three year relationship with psycho I advised her to not get into another relationship for awhile to let herself heal. Her reason for moving was to get closer to her daughters father, whom she had no contact for quite awhile.
   
   Her daughter's father (Nick) is now remarried and provides about $250 per month to Amber for support. A part of her motivation for moving to the state was in the hopes of destabilizing Nick's marriage and regaining this fragment of a relationship she lost ten years ago. Amber despises Nick's new wife because she has everything Amber feels she lost. Identity, money, a home, a marriage.
   
   Within six weeks she had a new job in the new state and soon thereafter met a man (David) twelve years her senior. This man is married, albeit unhappily, and now Amber is the "other woman" longing for his presence as the rebound guy in her chaotic unsettled world. He bought her a supermarket plant for her new apartment and she slept with him. Amber phones me up quite a bit to talk and relates all the details of her lurid affair to me. What role am I playing in this? I am ready to shut the whole thing down because I'm tired of listening to it.
   
   She has this deep desperate need for affirmation and connection with a man. She is unable to go for any length of time without fixating on the first male that comes along and begins a sexual relationship. I wouldn't actually call it a relationship because it is basically s*x in exchange for attention and phone calls and small gifts.
   
   In the space of a year Amber went from being held hostage by one man in one state to escaping and immediately getting into a prison inside her mind by having adultery with a married older man in another state. The last time she called me she was drunk on the phone, crying, and said she went out to a workplace party and was attracted to the new hire, Ramon. They got off alone and were making out for awhile. She said she felt guilty because she cheated on David. I told her that, "David is cheating on his wife with you and you are cheating on David with Ramon." This is like some kind of Jerry Springer love circus.
   
   I feel like God has protected me from black hole women. My heart goes out to Amber and there was a period of time when I wanted her. But she left and the distance provides perspective and safety. This plays out like a stage show and every time Amber phones there are new details and revelations about her level of desperation and discontent. The more she chases men and provides her body as collateral for acceptance and attention the lonelier and angry she becomes.
   
   God hasn't forgotten about Amber. He knows her and her daughter. I still pray for her. That she would get desperate enough to wake up. Over the past few years since my divorce I've had the most amazing post-graduate education into the theory and practice of the female mind. Desperate and lonely women are all around abused and cast aside. God hasn't forgotten about them; little flowers of beauty out there in society trading their bodies and soul for some attention. Women need to come into a man's world. I'm convinced that the majority of women are not attracted to a healthy man because they don't know what one is. This is why women are attracted to the "bad boys". If you are a rough construction worker who drives a truck and is slightly abusive women will love you. They will chase you down.
   
   In the last days the spirit of Jezebel arises in the world and the nature of womanhood is twisted through sexual control seeking to destroy clear male identity. I talked with Amber yesterday night and she was feeling like giving up hope because David is distant and not at a point where he can divorce his wife. And so she cannot have him, the object of her desire, and continues in her sad miserable cycle of hopeless despair. In the beginning was the garden and the man wants the woman and the woman wants control.

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