intimacy after rape. how soon is too soon to start dating?

1 ANSWERS

1. Guest2680
   

   I was JUST begining dating Jon, when I was raped by a stranger.  It was our first time night-out with mutual friends, he knew the area and had given my friend and I a ride to it.  She ditched me.  He should have made sure I got home safely, but disappeared to have a one night stand.  So then I was tricked by a stranger, kidnapped and raped.  
   I'm a fairly old fashioned girl, and had no real intention of having s*x with Jon anytime soon.  But I liked him very much, and we both expressed a very strong attraction for one another.  (We had kissed pretty heavily a couple times.)  To make the issue of my resolve a bit weaker, I had also just moved to a new city and had been broken up with by my boyfriend of 3.5 years.
   Having a man to hold REALLY helped to take away the trauma of being raped.  I can only imagine how much trauma I avoided by spending so much time in his arms.  He had a libido that ran rampant!  Three weeks into our time spent together, we had s*x.  Over the next 3 months, his kindness and respect towards me diminished.  We broke up.  It was hard, but I was ok.
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   To answer the question, how soon is too soon... it just depends on the person.  
   What I will say is this:
   Having "good touch" after "bad touch" helps tremendously, if you can open yourself up to it.
   After being raped, you MAY be desperate for affection, and this can cause you to have bad judgment on who's arms you fall into.
   Plutonic friends and family are the best to lean on.  You have to take good care of yourself.  It is important you surround yourself with people you know well and have your best interests at heart.

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